Fatherhood And Parenting: Real Struggles and Silent Wins of Dads

Becoming a dad is overwhelming and a life changing event. It is messy, beautiful, exhausting, and rewarding too. Whether you are a new dad facing sleepless nights, or a single dad doing it all alone. Fatherhood brings in a lot of emotions, along with the feeling of love, feeling of being pressurised, all this can be real and heavy at the same time. The rollercoaster of emotions faced by father is understandable, and it is okay to admit that it is hard.

Why Fatherhood Feels Like Juggling Rocks and Meteors

Imagine your life with a bag full of stones. One is your job, one is your relationship, few for friends, hobbies and other responsibilities. You are handling and balancing it well. 

Then there is a sudden boom.., a newborn comes into your life as a big surprise and you become a father. Welcome to Fatherhood.

Your life completely changes. From your routines to your priorities, sleep, and even your sense of identity. The baby becomes your centre of gravity. But the bag filled with those stones are still there. You still need to work, manage your other relations, and daily chores. Just the change is you are doing it all, with different sleep patterns and emotions.

This is exactly when a new dad can start to feel overwhelmed.  You may have expected joy, and not chaos. But the reality is often much messier. It is okay to feel lost and unprepared, even after you have done your research, read books, and watched several videos.

Modern Day Fatherhood Problems

Today’s fathers have too much on their plate, and are lonelier than ever before. The pressure on fathers can feel nonstop. They want to ace in every field they get involved in, be it a fatherly duties, a caring partner, a successful man in work, or someone his family can really depend on. For them it is not limited to do well for themselves, but also for family, respect, and getting appreciated from loved ones around. 

The irony is that even when dads do everything, it often goes unnoticed. It is seen as “normal” because this is what society has set and expects from a father. Like a refrigerator that is working everyday in a corner and does not get noticed until it stops working. Modern day dads juggle in between work, relationships, and parenting. They have a duty to act as joker to make their kids laugh the next minute, becoming a strict father to set healthy boundaries. 

They are under the invisible pressure and burden of trying to be perfect in all the duties they perform. From being an available dad to being a reliable employee. The desire to compete, rise, and win are often buried under their work mails, parenting, family time, and other loads. And even doing it all, they never get to hear a simple “ thank you” also. 

How Untreated Stress in Father Can Be Harmful  

Before entering into the phase of fatherhood, you might have time for your hobbies including, gym routine, music, playing sports, or binge watching your favourite series. Now what? You are just trying to keep the job running, managing fatherhood and family duties. This eventually does make you feel like you have lost parts of yourself.  

And if you are back at full time work, the guilt might take over. It gets difficult, one feels stuck between office work and fatherly duties. Once living the fatherhood, you want to be present for your kid everywhere be it a bedtime story or a gaming session, but at the same time, want to give your child and family a strong financial support. 

You cannot be perfect in every role. But you can find a balance that works for your family, and you. It means letting go of unrealistic expectations and allowing space for flexibility. 

Manage your priorities along with additional task whenever possible

• While rocking the baby, listen to your favourite music.
• Stroller walk with your kids can be taken as your daily workout 
• To spend quality time, take the toddler along with you to grocery shoppings.

You Are Not Alone: Getting Help and Finding Community

Many fathers do not talk about the struggles they face. The hardest part of fatherhood is feeling the pressure to “man up”. But remember, at the end this bottles up and is not helpful for anyone in the family. 

Reaching out for support is not weakness, it is strength.

Whether it is talking to a therapist, opening up to a friend, or joining a dad group. Sharing your feelings can help you heal. You are not the only one who has sat on the kitchen floor with a crying baby and no idea what to do. Other dads get it.

Final Verdict: What the Blogger Has to Say About It

• When facing change, walk your child through what to expect. Whether it is a new school or a move, talk about the positive aspects, answer their questions, and keep them involved.

The truth is: parenting is exhausting. Babies do not have a proper routine. When you have irregular sleeping patterns and wake up many times at night, your mind and body gets exhausted. Tiredness takes a toll over your body. And it is running on caffeine and the pressure of dealings. 

Exhaustion is not only physical. There is a mental weariness too, worried about whether you are doing enough, juggling between work and home, and carrying an emotional burden without a break. Due to this sense of disconnection from your partner, friends, and even yourself is felt.